Traditions and capitalism dictate that it’s cool to have a partner. Or two. Maybe whole harem? How about thousand fans neatly queued and filtered by celebrity’s preference of the day? And then there’s also the infinite porn catalogue preserving finest, dead or alive. This leaves a singular target which is almost taboo: a mirror. This post is about autosexuality. Not to be confused with “narcissism” and other pathologizations.

Scholars have proposed that the concepts of sexual attraction and romantic attraction are different due to evolutionary reasons. The purpose of sexual attraction is for breeding and reproduction, whereas the purpose of romantic attraction is for long-term bonding between partners. This concept helps explain why a person could feel romantic feelings for someone they do not find sexually attractive or sexual feelings towards someone they are not romantically attracted to.1

There’s limited evidence2 that this split is not imaginary – “neuroimaging studies have found a correlation between activation in the anterior insula and love, and a correlation between activation in the posterior insula and lust”. Insula means insular cortex within each hemisphere of the mammalian brain. Does that mean one hemisphere may love one person, and the other – another person? :D

So, when own body matches a pattern of sexual attraction, the feedback loop begins.3

Engraving of a wyvern-type ouroboros by Lucas Jennis, in the 1625 alchemical tract De Lapide Philosophico

The real part may act as a giver while perceiving the reflection as a receiver:

The giver can be the person that focuses on providing the pleasure and satisfaction to their partner. They may derive significant enjoyment from seeing their partner’s pleasure and feeling the control or intimacy involved in the act of giving.

Giver or receiver dynamic is not just connected to gender, in fact, it’s not connected to gender entirely, although society often reinforces outdated stereotypes, but people across genders benefit from fluidity in roles.

This internal role switching may be applied to actions and sensations even without any visual feedback (depending on aphantasia level), although certain setups enhance the illusion of being on both sides at once.

Let’s conclude with the reminder that people may identify with one or more sexual orientations, autosexuality is one of them, and can mean different things for different people. Romantic relationships are possible for an autosexual person, assuming all partners are communicating to understand what the other needs.

  1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romantic_orientation ↩︎

  2. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25382944/ ↩︎

  3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouroboros ↩︎